Starting Out Swinging?

Welcome! If you are starting out swinging and are new to this site, we suggest you click on "CINCINNATI SWINGING 101" above to get the whole list of articles and start reading the articles from bottom (oldest) to top (newest).

Be sure to click the "Read the Rest..." link for each article and especially read the comments at the end of the articles. A LOT of updates end up in the comments.

29 April 2011

Please just stop the Club War

We are very sorry to say that this is kind of a sad time to be a swinger in Cincinnati.  We are personally noticing that there appears to be a war going on involving Cincinnati swinger clubs.  Rather than focusing on what the swingers want, we have seen some pretty harsh words lately aimed at trying to scare swingers away from one club and hopefully toward another, apparently because one club is seriously hurting financially and is using scare tactics and negative rumors in their desperation.  And yes, it does appear very one-sided, but we swingers are caught in the middle and are the ultimate losers here.  Let us say now, we are sorry that you are having to go through this, and we hope it ends soon.

It's a common saying:  "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."  We try to follow that ourselves, and our suggestion to you is that if you see or hear people trying to make another swinger club in Cincinnati look or sound bad, be VERY suspicious.  Listen to the good things people are saying about a swinger club.  Ignore the bad stuff people say about a swinger club because they probably have an agenda.

It is sad that one of the swinger clubs around Cincinnati has apparently decided it is more important to attempt to lure more paying customers to their club by bad-mouthing the other club than it is to focus on what swingers want.  It is pitiful to see the amount of energy that is being spent by the many owners/investors in one of the clubs to tarnish the image of the other club.  We have seen this happening, and not only is it very un-classy and immature, but it is totally NOT in the best interest of swingers.  It is always better for "customers" to have choices and healthy competition so both clubs will strive to keep their standards high, but when people from one club are bashing another club you just know there is something wrong with the club doing the bashing.  Classy places let their reputation stand on their own and don't need to put down other places.  When is the last time you have seen The Precinct restaurant running ads bad-mouthing other steakhouses?  Same here ... never.  They don't need to ... they have class.  The same should apply here with swinger clubs.  This is not a presidential election, so slinging mud and negative advertising is uncalled-for.

Case in point, here is a comment that was posted yesterday on one of our blog articles about a club:

Anonymous said...

Are you Kidding me? Club [A] is a dive, looks nothing like a dance club or a bar. its dirty. they are registered as a banquet hall not a private club, so its just a matter of time til the city closes the place down. want a classy clean, and truly a real dance club feeling club, one that is legal and has all the right permits. Go to Club [B]. check it out at [website removed]   you wont find any pictures of  [A] because they are trying to hide how the place really looks. and also trying to fool the local police as to what they are.
As a couple that has been to both clubs mentioned in the comments, we can tell you that the ridiculously one-sided comments here are inaccurate and a common theme that Club [B] is repeating in many different places.  We quite enjoy Club 440, as you have read in our other posts, and you can probably figure out that Club 440 is Club [A] in the comments.  Well, we wouldn't be going there several times a month if it was dirty, it does look a LOT like bars we have been to, and we have seen many more people dancing there than at the other club. Every city has different ordinances that have to be followed to get permits and whether pictures can be shown of the inside, and the police TOTALLY know about BOTH clubs, so the only person trying to fool ANYONE here is the author of the above comment.

So, fellow and future swingers in the Cincinnati area, if the opportunity presents itself in conversation or otherwise, we hope you will join us in expressing hope that all the swinger clubs will focus more on giving us the kind of environment we want instead of trying to hurt other clubs.  We LOVE that we have a choice of which club to go to.  We are very thankful that different clubs draw different crowds and we can choose which crowd we want to be around.  We are all adults that can make up our own minds and it is insulting to our intelligence and disrespectful for one club to try to scare swingers away from the other club and spread sentiments that they think our choice should be taken away.

So club owners, stop the name-calling (which has been VERY one-sided, by the way), stop trying to take our choices away, and start focusing on making your own club better if you want more patrons / customers.  If you are having to bad mouth the other club to try to attract customers, please realize it is a very strong sign that you are doing something wrong.

Thank you,


  1. Thanks so much for providing this website.

    How would you suggest a single girl in Cincinnati enter "the scene"? I'm interested in no-strings attached, relatively anonymous sex. I've been contemplating going to one of the sex clubs for weeks now, but I'm nervous and intimidated.

    I'm 100% sincere here. Just really looking for advice.

  2. To get started, we really recommend creating a profile either on or Once you have a profile there (see our Swinger Websites article), look for a couple that is familiar with a club at their club of choice. That puts you in a "safe" area around lots of people that are pretty good at looking out for single women.

    Our recommendation is to stick to only couples to start out. Once you have some experience you can try single guys too, but we have found that couples are usually better at respecting a single woman's wishes than a single male.

    Write us if you have more questions and we will help you get started, then maybe post something to help other single women get started too!

  3. Thank you so much for the suggestions, going to take a look around. And the advice is much needed and appreciated!

  4. Hi there. How are the clubs regarding BBWs? And, are the clubs legal? I know we're not paying for sex, but I've read about clubs being raided by the police. Love your blog and all of the information you've given. I've been interested in this lifestyle for a while now, but haven't ventured into it yet b/c not sure how I will be received.

  5. Last week Google had a "problem" with their blog sites, and postings and comments left a few days last week got deleted. One that was sent in and deleted said:

    Hi there. How are the clubs regarding BBWs? And, are the clubs legal? I know we're not paying for sex, but I've read about clubs being raided by the police. Love your blog and all of the information you've given. I've been interested in this lifestyle for a while now, but haven't ventured into it yet b/c not sure how I will be received. -Anonymous

    Well, first of all, swinger clubs are very legal in Ohio, and as I said in the posting the police know all about them and seem pretty happy that they aren't getting called there all the time for bar fights like they are regular bars. In the two years we have been going to clubs we have never had any contact with police at a club, and we've gone at least 80 nights so far. We have heard of some police raids at stripper clubs due to violations, but not swinger clubs. The only times we have heard of police coming to a swinger club during operating hours were to assist with removing a drunk uncooperative patron, and I believe at the request of the club owners.

    About being a BBW, one of the things we love about swinger clubs versus strip clubs is that swinger clubs have women and men of all shapes and sizes. We have truly seen that once you have spent some time getting used to the club and seen all the other women that feel comfortable wearing whatever skimpy clothes they want there, you will feel a lot better about yourself too. "It takes all kinds", and a swinger club is no different, so whatever your body type, someone that is really into how you look will come across your path.

    Now, with that said, each club is different and attract different crowds, just like restaurants are different and attract different clientelle. Some clubs market to the fancier individuals and even have strict dress codes, and others are more accepting and diverse. We like more accepting and diverse, and we find that at Club 440. If you are looking to "see and be seen", one of the other clubs may be more to your liking.

    In the end, like I tried to stress in the above posting, having choices is good for us swingers, so whether it is a club, or hotel party, or a house party, or just meeting another couple or person one-on-one, make a choice and try it out and then try something else again until you find the people that you feel at home with.

  6. Have to say - first time I have found your site and read your blog and I've commented twice... This is great info and well written - thoughtful too!

    The badmouthing is BS - and I've never been to ANY swinger club here or anywhere else. That said - you're example of great restaurants is perfect. Good places catering to classy clients- especially those sensitive about privacy - should behave better. Well said all around.

  7. Thank you! We just find it amazing that there isn't more openness and sharing regarding swinger clubs. I mean, isn't the whole idea of swinging to get out of the mindset of jealousy and possessiveness of their partners? Why don't these same people carry that over to their clubs? We hope they will soon.

  8. Hello... my wife and I like going to "regular bars" and meeting others interested in swinging activities. Swing Clubs are great, but sometimes we like the thrill of the "pickup" or meeting somebody and hinting around about having fun to see if we are all on the same page. Can anybody recommend a good bar for this? Maybe a place where swingers tend to congregate? We used to enjoy doing this at a hotel bar in NKY, but it has recently closed down. Any advice?

    1. wondering what regular bars to go to that my wife and I might get picked up by a swinger couple.. :)

    2. Check out our article on Flasher-friendly bars. That might be a good list to start with.

      As far as finding swinger couples at a regular bar, you will probably have a tough time going in blindly. It will be far easier finding a single guy or girl that will agree to a threesome. Heck, us couples can have problems getting picked up by swinger couples even at a SWINGER bar! Our best suggestion is to find a couple online first and meet them at a regular bar. Check out the Swingers Personals Websites article.

      However, our limited experience is that if you are female as soon as you start giving any signals that you are interested in getting some "action" in a regular bar, you can quickly find yourself in a weird state of limbo where men forget to be respectful or to ask before they touch. Almost all of the safeguards of "club rules" and the people surrounding you looking out for you if you show any sign of uninvited behavior or distress just seems disappear in a regular bar.

      In bars people seem to avoid getting in the middle of someone else's problem, whereas a club fosters a sense of membership self-policing and respect. We have even seen members and staff at a club step in when women have made unwanted advances toward men. It's a whole different attitude at swinger clubs that makes them such fun and relatively safe places to cut loose and be yourself.

  9. Hi, My partner and I are very interested in trying out a club. With this being our first time at a club, what should we expect?

  10. Most of what you would expect is covered in the "Going to Club 440" post here:

    For other clubs the general experience is similar, but it seems the way single males are accepted and how you are treated if you aren't both fashion models are the biggest differentiators between the clubs.

    Also, if you and your partner are male/female or female/female you will be welcome with open arms. If you and your partner are male/male then you may have a bit of a hurdle, as for whatever reason it seems that homosexual and bisexual men are still not warmly received in swinger clubs in this region. We are all about diversity and acceptance, but we haven't actually seen an openly bi or gay male/male couple come to a swinger club around here yet. Maybe it's about time!

  11. Is there any chance that a single male would have a chance at a singers club?

  12. Read our posting Going to Club 440 and the comments at the bottom. There are some pretty good answers to that question there.

  13. An anonymous reader just posted this:

    "We opening a club for couples over 50 in Dayton. We are form Ca, and had a club for 14yrs. We are looking for two small investors so we can expand to a larger home. Our location is very clean,no smoke or drugs. We have seen some of the clubs out here and they are not all that good. Some of them are dirty and the food they serve I would not feed to my dogs. It seems people over 50 get snubed by other clubs. Now you have a place to enjoy others your age.We offer the best to all of our guest and size is not to be jugded here. Hope to see you soon."

    OMG! This is EXACTLY the kind of attitude we wrote this posting about. Did you even read what we wrote??? If you are trying to open a club and attract people by putting down other clubs, you are only demonstrating what turns people off from your club. Since you apparently did NOT read our blog, let us recap...

    When is the last time you have seen a fine dining restaurant insulting other restaurants to attract customers? Yeah, you haven't. Get it? We don't care which club you are talking about. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it, and don't say it on our blog.

  14. We have a club that caters to couples over 55. All sizes are welcome all the time. We are a small club in our home and the couples seem to love the small gatherings. Never has there been a problem and the couples enjoy the home setting. We thank everyone who attends and do look forward to new faces. We would like to know where else can we post for couples to find us more often?? Thanks Swingers 55 Club.

    1. Our best suggestion is to post or advertise your club on and for any club, especially ones outside of the Cincinnati area. Those sites cover all the states in the USA.