Starting Out Swinging?

Welcome! If you are starting out swinging and are new to this site, we suggest you click on "CINCINNATI SWINGING 101" above to get the whole list of articles and start reading the articles from bottom (oldest) to top (newest).

Be sure to click the "Read the Rest..." link for each article and especially read the comments at the end of the articles. A LOT of updates end up in the comments.

01 October 2009

About Us

We are just your average couple in Cincinnati with kids in school, cats in the house, and a minivan in the driveway. Our co-workers would agree that we are intense in our work and fierce in our devotion to our family. What our family and co-workers don't realize is that as of April of 2009 we are quite different than most of them. We are now Swingers.

It all goes back to Spring Break 2009 when we were sitting on the beach together and our kids were having their fun in the water, affording us parents a moment of privacy and relaxation. It was then that a very clear thought came to my mind. I turned to my wife and told her in a very heartfelt way, "You know, it would be so nice if we just had some friends that we could openly talk about sex with." We chatted back and forth for a while and confirmed that even though we have family and friends that we can make a racy joke with, or a best-friend we can open up to one-on-one but not with their spouses around, we simply did not have a couple we could sit at dinner with and say, "OMG, we found this really awesome way to do doggie style last night!!" We thought we enjoyed sex in the bedroom as much as the next couple, but we really hadn't ever thought to talk about it with anyone else, meaning this was definitely new ground for us. So that day we identified a desire that we both had, and the Universe started lining up a very interesting and fun ride for us.
When we returned to Cincinnati we decided to post an ad in the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist under mw4mw (Man/Woman looking for Man/Woman), a.k.a. the Swinger section we found out later. But what we posted was a simple desire to find couples that we could feel free talking about sex with. The thought that something more might come out of it was intriguing to us, but not a real goal. Since we had just gotten back from Spring Break in FL, we had some swim suit photos of us, so we included those to attract more attention, since some people only read the ads that have photos. Including photos of my wife in a swim suit was one of the best things we accidentally did right.

We got replies left and right from guys (and some girls) complimenting her and interested in her in all kinds of ways. Now, my wife had dreaded swim suit shopping before vacation (almost as much as the thought of wearing a swim suit) but when I helped her find the suits that accentuated her assets and minimized the areas she was not fond of, it turned out to be pretty fun and she felt much better about herself on vacation. But that was nothing compared to this. All the compliments and flattery in emails from complete strangers were really hitting home with her. We had only been blissfully married a couple of years at this point, but before that she had a 10+ year very negative and affectionless marriage. So now she was getting confirmation and reassurance that she was attractive, which was just what she needed to start getting really frisky in bed. But that did not prepare me for what about to happen.

The next thing I knew my wife was re-writing our CL ad and posted it with this photo of her with her top pulled down showing her breasts. Holy Smokes! Can this really be my wife? The one that dreaded wearing a swim suit? You can imagine the responses we got to this posting. But even more significant to me was how much confidence she was gaining from the compliments, thank yous, and offers to drive from other states to meet her (well, to meet "them"). So yeah, I was enjoying seeing her self-esteem soar and didn't mind at all that people responding weren't really interested in me that much at all. Which is fine, since she is definitely much easier on the eyes, in my opinion.

After all the hundreds of responses, both legit and not, we only found one couple that seemed genuinely interested in meeting us for possible friendship and the opportunity to openly talk as adults about sex, and then just maybe consider the possibility of the 4 of us having sex with our own spouses within view of each other (we kind of thought it would be like having live porn). Our two meetings for dinner and drinks just didn't go that well, and we were starting to get a bad taste in our mouths about squandering our precious child-free evenings meeting a couple that we didn't hit it off with, and we started thinking that there is probably a better way of meeting couples.

Two things happened to help out. The first is that some of the people responding to our CL ad mentioned the and websites. We reluctantly created profiles on there, concerned that we were wasting our time and possibly some money on accounts on these Swinger websites. We were dead wrong. These sites had REAL people on them, and a lot of them responded when you wrote to them. A lot of people had pictures, and it made it fun to log on after work to see who responded back to us each night! The second thing that helped out was that some of the people we were corresponding with on the Swinger websites mentioned Swinger Clubs in a very positive way. Having no idea what they really were, the concept was interesting but very shrouded in mystery to us, and seemed like it was the kind of thing that was in a world out there totally separate from ours. Until we realized that one of the 3 clubs in the Cincinnati/Dayton area was "right down the street from us", in the same town where we lived, less than 10 minutes away. The moment it really hit home that there was a REAL Swinger Club down the street from us right under our noses I think we realized that someday, somehow, we were going to end up there.

So one Friday night after we had been exchanging emails with couples on the Swinger websites for a while, we decided to be brave and show up at Club 440. We got there around 9pm, filled out the forms saying we agreed to the club rules, and was given a tour of the club and reminders of the rules. The rest of the night we basically sat on a couch by the dance floor and tried to be as hidden as possible while we people-watched (probably somewhat open-mouthed) all the people milling past us and the groups of people that appeared and disappeared on the dance floor depending on the song being played. I think the only time we got up from our couch seat was to get wine and soft drinks, or to use the bathroom. By the end of the night we were quite excited about the new world we had found (and really horny), so to end the evening we found an unoccupied room and had some very intense sex, just the two of us with the door closed. Then we reluctantly left, went home, and had a repeat performance in bed.

The first night at Club 440 was the only night we allowed ourselves to hide in the shadows and avoid talking to people. The second night we sat down at a table and started a conversation with strangers, and midway through we saw another couple that looked familiar from the Swinger websites. That was prety much all we needed to start getting introduced to other people there, and now we have people that we know there from the moment we walk in each weekend. Almost every single Friday and Saturday night now, Club 440 is our "home".

Now my wife and I only meet new couples and single guys or women at Swinger clubs, not outside of them. There are other swinger clubs around, but Club 440 in Milford (
) is close to us, and from what we have heard, probably the most friendly club to single guys. We will sometimes play with single guys (males that are there unaccompanied by a female partner) that come to the club that she is attracted to, but we don't make any promises. Same with couples or single women. We all just show up, meet, and see how things go, but if you are social, friendly, and we like you, we'll introduce you to quite a few people there besides us, even if the attraction isn't there for us to play together.

Why do we only meet people at a swinger club? Well, if we meet at a club and both sides are attracted to the other then we have a place to play and have sex right there. Try doing THAT meeting at a bar or a restaurant! However, if either or both sides are not feeling like there is the right chemistry and attraction, well there are a hundred or so other people at the club that are all looking for basically the same thing. That can turn a bust meeting into a really good night! And if you've never been to a club before, you're in for a treat! Just sitting around watching the half-dressed people wandering and dancing is well worth the trip.
So, most weekends now you will find us at Club 440.  If you decide to come out you can ask the DJ to point us out (WeRunWithScissors), and if we aren't there, just remember to be friendly and introduce yourselves to people unless you just want to people-watch! Regardless of that, we hope you can make use of the other information here on this site to have lots of fun on your own!


PS: We had not heard of the book "Running With Scissors" before using this name, and there is no connection in any way. Our mothers told us don't run with scissors when we were little
"for our own safety".  Now we do that and lots of other things our mothers told us not to do!  So, we have been recklessly running with scissors and laughing hysterically until we fall down, trying to make the best we can of life for years prior to the book.  :-)


  1. You are absolutely correct, what is fishing!


  2. My you sound like a fine couple. I once went to a gathering in Denver back in about 1983 and felt completely out of place. I got to talk to a couple of couples and one was, well, not my cup of tea. I'm straight and the husband was bi. The other couple was like me,curious.
    My wife would rather have her eyes poked out with hot pokers than to experience the lifestyle. I on the other hand would love to be a nudist and have FWB's. But that is a rarity to have happen for a man nearing his senior years and over weight, with a wife who is a devote Christian. That's the reality of life. What bugs me is that the wife no longer tries to entice me since she went through menopause. I mean can you imagine having sex less than 6 times a year! So I turn to being a peep looking at pictures on the web and dreaming of what it would be like to have the freedom that you two seem to have.
    Well your wife is lovely, and you are a lucky man to have her. She is very attractive and seems like she has a personality to match. That all comes out in the photos. I love the spontaneity and scenery. You all have good taste and an eye for detail. Those who are so lucky to meet you, should feel blessed to meet you, let alone have passionate sex with you all. My, I can only fantasize what it must be like. Bless you for sharing with this old fart.